my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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