Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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