i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
