I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
