Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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