guys are not supposed to queef...right?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
