I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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