what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
