so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
