so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
