Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Boobs speak an international language.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
