I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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