We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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