i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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