There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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