i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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