some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize