and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
