I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
