Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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