was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So much rum. So many feels.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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