I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
