she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
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just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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