Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
