Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry doomstick66 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.

Fav 2 1770 895
share tweet
(408): View more from California

At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.

Fav 10 988 2039
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(705): View more from Ontario

it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob

Fav 47 5209 2219
share tweet
(913): View more from Kansas

he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.

Fav 18 1908 4643
share tweet
(626): View more from California

All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.

Fav 19 4894 1461
share tweet
(319): View more from Iowa

You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.

Fav 6 3144 1202
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.

Fav 9 1607 2606
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"

Fav 15 4427 823
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion

Fav 0 103 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT