Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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