she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
