do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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