I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
