I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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