we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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