First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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