He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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