Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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