is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
