i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
