i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
