I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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