I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
