so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
