You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
