I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
