I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
