I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
