just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
