The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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