guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
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