We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
sex in a hospital.. check
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
