why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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