You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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