im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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