I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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