so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i believe in u and ur pee
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
