she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
