OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
