I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
