I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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