I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You dont lie about slip and slides
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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