She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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