Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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