I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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