Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
