wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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