apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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