i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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