I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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